It does not help students learn compassionate behavior. “Punishment conveys that retaliation is appropriate and right. Klein says that such responses “are of little use and do not help to teach empathy. Sometimes, though, the parent does what’s easiest for them: a reactive tongue-lashing, or the less volatile confiscation of a prized possession.ĭr. This doesn’t mean the parent shouldn’t feel furious. Klein says, “Punishment is essentially bad role modeling.” “I do not believe that punishment is ever an effective way to teach children good behavior,” says Jessie Klein, PhD, MSW, assistant professor of sociology/criminal justice at Adelphi University, and author of “The Bully Society: School Shootings, and the Crisis of Bullying in America’s Schools.”ĭr. Well of course! A parent shoudn’t exactly be thrilled his or her child is a bully.īut you must also look at the big picture, the course you’re setting, rather than that snapshot in time when your blood is boiling. However, the tongue-lashing from the father is a repeat of the child’s own bullying behavior, and teaches the bully absolutely nothing about kindness and respect! Punishment Is Often no More than the Parent’s Anger
You might be thinking, But for sure, that little brat won’t ever call anybody nasty names again.
It taught him to be fearful of Dad - including refusing to approach him for guidance later in life. His “solution” worked, but did it teach his son empathy or kindness? No sir. It’s a tough spot for parents when they learn their son or daughter is a bully.ĭo you become inflamed, such as the father above? My parents never found out about my verbal bullying - which meant it went unpunished - but it also went away on its own. I’d be lying if I said I’ve never done some bullying myself as a child. But…does the correction of the problem justify how it was corrected? The boy never called the older kid “retard” again. The infuriated father didn’t use corporal punishment and didn’t even ground his son, but scolded him, which included exclaiming, “YOU’RE retarded!” The victim reported this to the boy’s father. There is the case of a man who learned that his grade school son was calling a neighborhood boy (who was older but very awkward) a “retard.”
If so, what kind of punishment? Should you give him a taste of his own medicine? If you just learned your child has been bullying a classmate, should you punish him or her?
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